This girl is more easily done than said...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Congratulations! We have a period
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize