Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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