she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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