Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize