My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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