Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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