I hope mine doesn't look like that
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
