I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I would ride that face into the sunset
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize