Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
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Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
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He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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