It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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