just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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