my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
