the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
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Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
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