Only a mothe r could love this liver
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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