If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this must be what syphilis tastes like
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize