sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
