i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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