Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
