People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
