please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
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Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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