I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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