Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she peed on how many people?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
