he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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