I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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