Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
