there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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