Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
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No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
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Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize