So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
im on a boat
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