Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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