Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
