I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.