You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
