Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
40s are totally the cure
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
