I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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