dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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