if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
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Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
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My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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