Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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