Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
