I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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