It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
