i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.