I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle