I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.