If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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