It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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