Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
His nipple licking is glorious
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