p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
