some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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