Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
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