meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
