I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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