Ketchup is God's man juice
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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